Some hours ago, Emmanuel walked into his office assuming it was going to be a normal day. However, he left the building with a termination letter in his hand. Nobody warned him about it. He never even dreamt that this could be his reality after many years of working in the company. Many saw him as the most efficient worker and his team leader always applauded him for his brilliance. He entered the meeting with the CEO expecting to receive another round of commendation, only to be told, “we are restructuring.”
Emmanuel sat in his car for nearly an hour, staring at nothing through the windshield. All the plan he had made for his new building, feeding, loan payments began to make his heart palpitate. What would he tell his wife and children waiting on him?
It is hard to be stable when certain life changes start to take place without your permission. You may get frustrated, or feel hopeless, but emotional stability during life changes does not mean that you pretend that everything is fine. It teaches you how to manage the shock, fear, uncertainty that comes with new seasons.
Here are practical ways to stay emotionally steady when life throws something unexpected your way.
Name Your Feelings Rather than Fight It
A major life change often comes with a storm of emotions, such as feelings of shame, anger, fear, disappointment, or sadness. Most people try to push through such experience by ignoring the way they feel. The problem is that suppressed emotions do not disappear; they just find other ways to drain your energy.
Give yourself the permission to observe what you are feeling. You can say to yourself:
“I am scared right now.” “I feel lost.” “I don’t know how to change this situation.”
It is not weakness. It gives your mind the clarity that it needs. Being honest with yourself is where emotional stability during life changes begins. When you are able to put a name to your emotions, it becomes easier for you to control them.
Build a New Routine that Makes You Stable
When your life changes suddenly, the things you do routinely will disappear. Because there is now a lack of structure, anxiety starts to build up. Something as simple as waking, eating, working, or studying at random times can be a problem for you.
You don’t need to have a perfect schedule for everything. All you need are predictable anchors like:
- A morning or evening walk
- Journaling for ten minutes
- A fixed mealtime
- One thing you would like to complete each day
These little anchors help your brain feel safer. They also help you rebuild your confidence gradually.
Remember You’ve Adapted Before
Somewhere in the middle of your struggle, it is very easy to forget that you have survived difficult seasons before.
Just like Zainab, who was shocked by how overwhelming everything felt when she newly entered the university system. She remembered how her teachers guided her steps back in her secondary school days. When she got to the university, she had to make her own decisions. Everything seemed impossible for her, and she would stay up late, crying in her hostel because she just didn’t feel ready for adulthood.
In the long run, she was able to adapt. She learned how to study by herself, ask questions, and organize her time. She learned how to be emotionally stable during life changes without even realizing it.
You can also do the same with whatever struggle you are faced with now. You’ve faced a difficult challenge before, changed certain things, grown, and survived that hardship. You can do that again and come out victorious.
Ask for Support Before You Hit Breaking Point
Life transitions will become more difficult when you decide to carry everything all by yourself. Learn to ask for help from people you trust as this will help you think clearly. You could speak to your sibling, friend, mentor, counsellor, spiritual leader, therapist.
You don’t need to explain everything perfectly; you just need to connect with other people. Support does not solve your problems immediately, but it does keep you from sinking under the weight of silence.
Focus on Small Steps Instead of Huge Expectations
When your life and plans change, the big goals you have feel like they are beyond your reach. This is when many people panic because they want complete solutions immediately.
A helpful approach will be to break things down into smaller bits:
- Instead of “become stable again,” start with “get through the next 24 hours.”
- Instead of “fix my whole life,” try “take one healthy action today.”
- Instead of “find a new job” use “update my CV today.”
You are able to rebuild emotional stability during life changes one step at a time when you focus on doing little things every day. Don’t stress over it; just be consistent.
Final Thoughts
Whenever a major life change occurs in your life, it might come with some kind of pain, confusion, or even loneliness. But you also need to see the positive side of this change. They are moments when you learn about your strength, resilience, and your ability to rebuild your life.
It’s not every time that you would have clarity on what to do next. You don’t need to pressure yourself to figure everything out today. All you have to do is take that next step in the right direction.
