Being good is truly a wonderful thing, but at what cost? All your life, you’ve always been taught that goodness will take you far. So, you choose to say yes to people even when your heart longs to say no. At home, you are the good child to your parents. In church, everyone sees you as a good Christian. You are also a good partner, a good friend, and generally a good person.
Hardly can anyone find fault in you. You avoid disappointing people to the detriment of your own health and wellbeing. You hide your frustrations and act content with everything thrown at you without any protest. Sometimes, you even shrug and say, “It’s all okay”. Yet, you know it’s not okay and it is eating you up on the inside. What looks like goodness may actually be people pleasing because you are afraid of disappointing others.
What if you wake up one day and choose to say no to things you are not comfortable with? Would it make you feel like you are the most horrible, unworthy person to exist? Would people call you names and overlook all your other goodness?
The truth is that you would most likely feel uncomfortable the first time you decide not to be walked all over anymore. People might even come at you and make you feel worse for taking your stand. Some might judge you for taking your stand. They might call you names, insult you, question your sincerity, or conveniently forget all the goodness you’ve shown them. But the possibility of their disapproval shouldn’t paralyze you. Don’t let fear prevent you from doing that thing your heart longs for.
Look at it this way. When you are constantly good to others, doing everything for them even while you are suffering, you begin to resent them for treating you wrong. Although your actions still look kind on the outside, resentment, anger, and frustration can begin to take root within you. Eventually, the person everyone considers “good” might begin to look like one of the worst people on planet earth.
The terrible part? Some of those people you are being good to will look you in the face one day. They will say that they didn’t ask for your goodness in the first place. Just like that, all your acts of goodness will be thrown to your face. So, why don’t you begin to make decisions for yourself without the influence of others? Do that thing that makes you confident and brings joy to your heart even if others don’t approve of it.
I remember how I was so afraid to write in a certain kind of way because I feared others would judge me. They wouldn’t see me as a good enough Christian, and it just made me feel like I had to stick to writing articles or stories that only involved Christianity. It was until I took the initiative to just write no matter the judgement that I would get that I discovered something interesting about myself. I was so glad that I wrote it and I was very proud of my abilities to look deep into people’s hearts and longings. It opened my eyes to the possibility of being a better writer once I stopped boxing myself in the religious sentiment or circle I’ve always found myself in. A lesson I learnt is that being a good person should not require you to become a smaller version of yourself.
