There are people who are highly dependable. They are the ones that step in to solve difficult problems in their workplace. Friends reach out to them when they are in distress because they know they would most likely get a proactive response. Family members seek their advice or assistance because they seem to have some magical powers to sort all things out. Hardly does anyone notice their person struggles, and they are always too busy seek for the next problem to solve.

Initially, being the dependable one may make you feel good about the things you are doing for others. It is very fulfilling when people can trust you in their difficult times. However, people who see you as highly dependable can start to over expect things from you.

Gradually, people begin to forget that you are also human. That you may sometimes be confused, tired, afraid, or just hoping that someone will just reach out to you without needing anything in return. They forget that you also need love and care, and reaching out also matters to you.

You might wonder, “Why can’t these highly dependable people just say they need help?”

The problem is that when you’ve spent years building a certain image of yourself, it becomes difficult to be another person. When people constantly see you as dependable, lacking nothing, always giving, and capable of solving problems, they begin to assume that you do not need anything yourself. Slowly, they being to assume that you really don’t need anything.

There is a particular kind of loneliness that spring from always being useful. Many people can surround you, but you still feel lonely and unsupported. This is because most people know what you can do for them. However, very few have stopped to ask what you need from them. Sometimes, these people may not even realize that they are doing this

This is why being dependable can become exhausting. You have to deal with your own problems alone and still help to solve other people’s problems.

Understand that asking for support does not make you less dependable or weak. You can admit that you are struggling and people will reach out to help. You can ask someone to stand beside you and don’t let any guilt overwhelm you.

And if you know someone that is highly dependable, always reach out to them whenever you can. No one is made to be an island, and your words of encouragement, even when you feel they don’t need it, could be the highlight of their day. So, do well to send that text, call to check in, or do a surprise visit to that highly dependable person. They would most likely appreciate it and see you as valuable.